Because you're worth it

After crying my face feels so refreshed that sounds weird but it all makes sense in my head. 

I miss you guys so much you don’t understand, no one does. I have never in my life felt this way. 

I’ve realized my tumblr now is just rants I don’t give a damn though because who cares. All I know is I’m going to decorate my room so it can be my best friend, then I can just sit there away from everything all day and leave everyone else to continue on with their lives. I hope to get new stuff that I need for this.

ALLY GO ON MSN LMFAO IF YOU STILL HAVE IT!

Ally I sent you a quick msg in your inbox

My best friend just made my night, not because of the flowers even though that was sweet but because she just apologized and said she understood me, that’s all i really needed goodnight world tonight is love <3

I wonder if anyone else in this world ever feels what I feel.

I feel so excited for the places life will take me and even more for those that will come across my path <3

It’s hard, I’m really tired and sometimes I feel lonely but I have my family, and I believe in my heart that they are there for me. This is really testing my strength and I love them and believe in god and know we will with his faith move forward, I pray for them and hope that they are okay. As for everyone else they have become a faint memory, I have really learned the meaning you are always alone. I have to admit however, florina you have been my rock, you have stood by my side pushing down my walls and truly looking out for me so thank you. Amber I appreciate so much that you are trying as well to understand I know this is difficult because you yourself aren’t use to opening up but the fact that you have been making the effort to be here for me everyday and get me to open up makes me happy like you wouldn’t believe. I use to have someone else to that I before would talk to for hours, somewhere though she left and I don’t have the energy after everything that’s happened to me to chase people anymore to go out of my way to care for them and I really don’t know what else to say about her anymore, all I have is god now and I pray that he is enough, I pray. 

Everyone always knows that one “strong person” that person that is always tough always acting hard, cussing, making jokes. The one person who can stand up to anything and doesn’t let no one tell them nothing. They always assume that this person is never hurt by anything. You can say anything do anything because it won’t touch them. I’ll ask you a question though, how do you know? How do you know that this person doesn’t hurt as much as you do, how do you know that this person is not screaming silently for someone to be there. Someone to take care of them for once, and heal their pain. I think those who always act so tough, taking care of everyone else are the most hurt deep down. They feel every word that touches them every scream that cuts them EVERYTHING. They hurt so much inside yet no one will ever even know. These are the most lonely people I know, they wan’t love the most but never seem to get it, I understand this of course because I feel this.